You did not have to go and die like that.
Today and every day for a long time to come, we mourn and will mourn the death of our dearly departed and much-loved Dolly Parton. Our Dolly. A woman for whom the word icon is an inadequate definer. She was so much more; from this generation to the next she will always be so much more.
Dolly shined bright. She sang heavenly. She was wicked with her quill. She had a big personality and an even bigger heart. She led with love, always.
Each time a much-loved person, an elder particularly, dies, we are bereft and left the poorer for their passing; but Dolly’s passing hits way different; we feel it in our collective soul, like a death in the family because to us Dolly was family. I never even considered the thought of her dying simply because it was such a foreign concept that did not apply to her omnipresence. I needed her to see us through this lifetime into the next. It sounds a ridiculous thing to hope for, selfish even that someone just be there and keep being there, but that was Dolly, present through all our lifetimes; her words gave us the soundtrack to moments on our life map; the good, the bad and the heartbreaking, through the fire, into the rain, until we eventually found the sun, because Dolly always made us believe the sun will come out again, if not tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow.
I grew up in a family and society that loved Dolly Parton a heck of a lot. In boarding school, Islands In The Stream was the ultimate love song, it is still one of the best love songs ever written, ever sung. Odd that a bunch of teenagers would bop so hard to a song like this, but we did. We were in boarding school with nothing more than social currency in relationship status to collect and so your love life unfolding to the words of Kenny and Dolly was the ultimate couple goals. And when you broke up because of some other chick in school- six degrees of separation is a real thing within the confines of boarding school- the lyrics of Jolene captured that heart ache, and if they circled back, Here You Come Again echoed the words of your friends telling you not to give him another chance. Dolly saw us through every moment, big and small, traumatic teenage heartbreak and all.
Dolly was a woman whose talent was so singular, so typical, so spectacular, so lauded. She made success all about talent and grit, not looks but Ms. Dolly certainly was the ultimate babe, big hair, big personality and all. Still, she had a way of making us look past the physical the second she opened her mouth to speak because we listened. And we cared because Dolly cared. She was an early champion and backer of the Moderna vaccine in the days of Covid giving us hope when it felt like the world would end with our generation. She gave books to children hoping to give them what her father could give to her, because he couldn’t read but she wanted to make sure the future generation could, to broaden their minds through books, because knowledge is power and in her way, she empowered us. Those in power might seek to diminish or ridicule people who liked to read, but Dolly saw this as a necessity of life.
Her talent with the pen was unparalleled; this was a woman who wrote Jolene and I Will Always Love You over the time span. Her voice was so particular and filled with a certain kind of joy that accompanied hope. And when she laughed she had a way of making us all laugh with her. A talent for the ages who touched every genre of music with that Dolly quintessence and gave to the younger generation of musicians so freely, so happily, and so frequently.
We needed Dolly here not because we wanted her to keep on in this fight for our salvation; after all, she was a woman who was openly supportive of every marginalized group with such loving care.
She was good people. She was our people.
We needed her here like we need our Gigi rocking on the porch chair, looking over us as we engage in a revolution to save the soul of the world and leave it a better place for the coming generation much like her generation tried to do for us.
We needed her here because we wanted to make her proud and for us to see that pride on her face as we stand up for one another, taking care of each other, like she did us.
We needed her here. We still need her here, which is why it is hard to believe she is no longer here. Letting go will be even harder, but I hope we make her proud as she watches over us from up there. I lost one of my dearest friends last year, a Dolly Parton fan and I am only comforted by the fact that they will now have met each other, tearing up the place up with their infectious love and laughter, because like Dolly, Sarah was one of a kind. And I can already hear Bernie Mac saying, “who the hell put rhinestones on everything!?” as she dazzles heaven with her presence.
Good Golly Ms. Dolly, this hurts too much but we hope you and Carl are together again, basking in your love story for always.
Rest in rhinestones and peace.
Love always,
Us.