Every year lent rolls by and catches me by surprise when I should not be. I am that elaborate over-promiser who wants to give up everything and be holier than Mother Teresa. I want to probably go to a convent and live out the rest of lent until it is right at my door, and I am rattling my brain for what to give up or start doing. I am also that person who always forgets, NO MEAT ON ASH WEDNESDAY AND GOOD FRIDAY and the night before Ash I am eating all the meat dishes in my fridge as if it were my last meal. An entire mess I tell you.
Right up to the eve of lent I find myself negotiating with God on whether I can give up something as basic as diet coke for 40 days without committing murder or being committed to an asylum for climbing up the walls in need of a sip. Not that I am addicted or anything, but you ever find that the one thing you think you can go without suddenly becomes the one thing you crave. I also keep pondering the age-old question I ask myself every single year during lent; does Sunday count? Because if it does it means 47 days instead of 40 and I remember my sister telling me Sundays do not count but maybe that was because she was trying to get me into trouble growing up.
You see, I grew up in a religious household, whilst my parents were never bible thumpers and loved a bit of party… well a lot considering how many we threw, they drank and had a good old time of it in their prime. They lived a full life some might deem sacrilegious, but we were, still are, spiritual. And Catholic. So, communion, baptism, mass, the whole shebang runs deep even if regularity has fallen by the wayside.
The Catholic Church is in a precarious position right now. The Church is on the precipice of change; Pope Francis lies in hospital in very ill health, and rumour has it he believes he will not make it through this time, and if that were to be the case, the dawn of change is upon us. For some of us this will be the third time witnessing a papal regime change which will inevitably mean a shift in doctrine and discipline and this is a shift that I am very sceptical of. Having lived through nearly fifteen years of a Pope that, for the most part, was receptive to change and understood the perilous nature of the church’s rigorous traditions in a fast passed, quick changing world, its rigidity is severely tested and weaknesses exposed- this change might bring with it a regression. An ultra conservative diktat; black and white, no grey areas. The wider world is in a global political upheaval, democracy is no longer a much-desired style of government. Mad men want to be in charge and tear the world apart; enough of this civility nonsense, the world is falling apart from the centre and there is no room compassion.
Compassion; a word with multi facets in the catholic doctrine. For the most part, Pope Francis operated from a place of compassion, knowing how at odds it would make him with his base and Cardinals. He hasn’t always gone as far enough as I would like, but there was a willingness in him to recognise that the church will get left behind if it did not evolve with world around it. Even if the Vatican is a nation state on its own, it is surrounded and operates within other nation states whose congregation it always hopes to retain.
The Catholic Church is a stickler for traditions, and boy do we have them, but the need to adopt and adapt have been long coming otherwise it risks its own demise, and lent is as good a time as any for that reflection. There is a reason why attendance to mass is dwindling, the younger generation sees the church as desperately out of touch, void of empathy, and compassion.
For a long time, even more recent times, compassion has been lacking in the world and when you look within the Catholic world it seems short in supply as traditionalists shout from their corners decrying any change to the doctrine, whilst liberals or more forward thinkers push the church outside of its comfort zone for just a little bit more because compassion requires that we function outside of our comfort zones; take others feelings into consideration, even walking mentally in their shoes. As a Catholic, I often find myself often at odds with the church, fundamental disagreements on a lot of things, not least the way it has handled and keeps handling the historical abuse of children by priests; children whom we know, as Jesus told us in the bible, will inherit the kingdom of God. And then there is its stance on gay marriage, trans rights, women taking up more front facing roles in the church, divorce, abortion… all of which I am in favour of because to be against these fundamental and very basic principles of life, is to strip people of their humanity at a very base level and deem them unworthy of love, at a Catholic level which is contrary to everything that we know to be true of that fundamental cornerstone; Love they neighbour. A commandment without qualification.
Therefore, as we enter the season of lent, my negotiation with God is not necessarily to give up diet coke, or to stop bullying Drake, (I like to pick my battles here) it is for us to have a little more compassion not only because it is fundamental to who we are as Catholics, but also because the world could use a lot more of it in the days, and years to come.