Zachary is nursing a glass of beer, sat by the window of this small town on the edge of the world it seems, it is cold, colder than a witch’s tit as the saying goes, there is snow on the ground, and he has never been more bundled up in his life before. Puffer jacket, jumper, thermos under the jumper, long johns, cashmere socks, woollen socks, gloves, hat, scarf, nose and mouth muffler…. For once in his life, he is thankful for Astrid’s over packing because she researched the weather before they set out and made sure they all packed properly. Bloody hell what are they even doing here? What did they hope to achieve by coming here?
‘Are you going to drink that fella or sit by the window daydreaming the day away?’ Hendrix had been observing the young man who walked into his pub dressed like an eskimo, definitely not from these parts because the true Hope folk laughed in the face of the cold. Probably a Londoner. Still, he seemed lost in a turmoil of thoughts, too much for a young man his age, when the only thing that should be on his mind is some girl and books…probably both which is its own type of drama.
‘Oh yes. Sorry.’ Zachary takes a sip of the beer, and it shocked him at how incredibly smooth it was. ‘Oh wow. This is good.’
‘I should hope so since I brew it myself.’ Hendrix pulls up a chair opposite Zachary, he wouldn’t typically disturb his patrons, everybody knows everybody, so conversation is always flowing but something about seeing him sat alone by the window lost in thought felt awfully familiar.
‘You brew this here?’
‘Yes. Out back I have a distillery and a brewery. We make the finest whisky this side of the world.’ Hendrix is proud. ‘This is the parish of whisky lad.’
Zachary corked his head to the side a little, as if seeing Hendrix for the first time since he walked in; the hairs on the back of his neck stood, it is warm in the pub, the roaring fire warmed the space, but he cannot help the fine chill that cut through him looking at the man who is now sitting opposite him.
A weird sensation washed through Hendrix seeing the look on the young man’s face, how odd.
‘What’s on your mind son?’
‘Oh nothing, just stuff you know… life.’
‘You’re young yet, life should not be on your mind so heavily.’
‘I think life can happen at any age just depends.’ Zachary shrugged, taking another sip of his beer. Was everyone in the town so friendly? They’d been greeted jovially by everyone they met. The woman from whom they rented the house they are staying came round every morning to see to them even though she left more than enough food to sustain an army in the larder and fridge, and had a maid come round every evening to clean up and make them dinner. Everywhere they went, men tipped their hats, women smiled hello as they went about their merry way to their daily observing. Life is slow here, but the pub remained busy through the day.
‘It sure can. My divorce came final this morning, and I have nothing to show for it. Ten years of marriage gone in a poof.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Zachary says feeling even sorrier.
‘It’s been a long time coming, five years at least.’
‘No shit.’ Zachary choked on his beer. ‘Sorry.’
Hendrix laughed. ‘We’ve been separated a while and only got round to finalising it this year. Started the process in the summer and signed the last of it this morning.’
‘Did you not love her?’
‘I don’t know that I did as much as I should have.’ Hendrix stated.
‘Did you have any children?’
To his lasting shame Hendrix shakes his head, ‘we tried. I couldn’t give her any.’
‘Really?’ Zachary wanted to slap himself the second he said that, knowing what he looked like challenging a stranger he’d just met on his own problems.
‘You seem surprised.’
‘Sorry. Don’t mind me. I am sorry to hear about your divorce. It must suck.’
‘It does.’
‘Why do you say you didn’t love her as much as you should have?’
Hendrix smiled, a memory, many memories, flow back to his mind, to the moment he fell in love with a girl who sat by this same window taken by the view of Scapa. They danced to a song about them not helping the feeling that swept them up in the moment. They shared their first kiss that night and made love until morning before she left him in the small hours. They loved. He loved. Deeply, passionately, wholly, lovingly… they loved each other but life had other plans for them.
‘Because when you have known love the way I did, you know when you are not feeling it wholly.’
Ain’t that a bitch.