Abercrombie and Fitch thinks thick chicks are not cool. Abercrombie and Fitch can really go suck it.

In 2006 Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch gave an interview that pretty much summed up the brand’s mission statement, reinforcing their stance on sex appeal and their target audience.

It’s almost everything. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that…In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”

In 2013 Abercrombie and Fitch still does not list XL, XXL on its size chart for women’s clothes and it not because this takes up too much material to make its simply because it doesn’t want to cater to the plus size market.

You have to excuse my language here, but to that I say fuck you Jeffries. Fuck you, Fuck the brand and that whole bullshit philosophy. You can shove it up your “cool” pie hole where the sun doesn’t shine.

As a teenager I never cared much for Abercrombie & Fitch, thank goodness, matter of fact it was never on my radar because my mother bought my clothes and she had the good sense to stay away from anything “cool” but hey, I still turned out pretty okay…give or take my warped thought process but you get my drift. I’ll take that over looking like every other smug “popular” kid any day. I’ve always found the label pretentious with its false coolness and clichéd advertisement. The “cool clothes” cheaply made athletic jerseys, were more common than cool. My first visit to an Abercrombie & Fitch store, was two years ago, on an errand for my ex-boss. Standing by the entrance to the store was a shirtless male model, very much like you would see on their ad campaigns. I guess it wasn’t just a frivolous play of the brand’s ad campaigns as I dismissed it to be.

Abercrombie & Fitch only wants to be associated with beautiful people aka; “the cool kids with lots of friends” you know, the Regina Georges, Taylor Vaughans and Joannas of the world. Which is all well and good, their brand, their prerogative, but I guess they also missed the memo on what happened to so called “cool kids”; Regina George gets hit by a bus, fractures her spine and became uncool, Taylor Vaughan dated an gross fake actor from the Real World series named Brock; and she didn’t even get the guy at the end and Joanna falls out of a tree house…Now they may all be fictional characters but in today’s society Jeffries definition of “cool kids” is just as superficial as these characters.

This is a brand targeted more towards teenagers, bad enough they have the whole high school hierarchy to figure out, throw in the issues of peer pressure, eating disorders, in extreme cases body dysmorphia perpetuated by certain magazines, the last thing they or anyone else for that matter needs, is a fashion giant telling them that simply because they look a certain way, they don’t fit in with their brand’s aesthetic and therefore should never be seen in their clothes. There is so much wrong with this that nothing, absolutely nothing, can be right. Why the hell would anyone want to be associated with a brand with such myopic views?

We are still trying to navigate the fashion vs size issue, fashion vs race, women particularly struggle with issues of self esteem, for a brand to instil such narcissistic views in its mission is discriminatory. Its not “exclusionary” its insulting and too ludicrous for words.

Furthermore Jeffries, if you are going to be the authority on who or what is cool, you can at least make sure you look the part. You remind me of the kid the other “cool kids” would’ve kicked the shit out of because your desperation to be one of them would get on their tits. In 2006 you were a 61 year-old man with an 18 year-old brain with wannabe yuppie vocabulary. At that age one would be forgiven to think you should know better. Just some food for thought before you go throwing stones from your glass house.

Then there’s Greg Karber, the film maker who is also part of the many, irked by Abercrombie and Fitch’s policy to burn damaged merchandise rather than donate them to the homeless. He launched a campaign to make Abercrombie and Fitch the world’s number one brand of homeless apparel…” by giving to the homeless the Abercrombie and Fitch clothes bought from the “douchebag” section in a Goodwill store. In my opinion, this is more insulting to the Homeless community than diminishing to the brand’s image. There has to be a better way to diminish such a cantankerous a brand…actually they are doing a splendid job of it all by themselves. Besides, I doubt the label of a homeless person’s clothes is of much concern to them. They are just trying to get by.

Someone ought to educate Abercrombie & Fitch that in this 21st Century, conventionality has no place in society. We live in an era where coolness is defined by innovation and brilliance. BEAUTY is more than just tight abs or a pretty face; pretty alone doesn’t cut it. And if your idea of being one of the cool kids is based on some sort of popularity contest I guess we’ll just pass.

Here’s to being UNCOOL.