Beginning of this year I resolved to not stress about the flick on the end of my liquid liner, this came after an epic 30 minute battle to do that one problem eye. 30 minutes of my life I will never get back, I was late for the train, late to meet my friends, flustered, sweaty, and in a bad mood because the flick was not quite right. Was it really that big a deal? At the time, it was, I love a good liquid liner action, but really girl?
It’s the same situation with getting dressed to go out or for work or any occasion, I have way too much clothes, and shoes, and bags, too much stuff that I didn’t wear, would never wear, stuff I didn’t even know I had; I refuse to believe I bought psychedelic sixties pants- IT WASN’T ME. Things I bought that got swallowed in my wardrobe so I would by another, and another; its the only explanation for the many black dresses I own, some in threes and twos. On the 2nd of January I woke up, looked at my wardrobe, and decided it was time to let light in. I did three clear outs in 2015 but for some reason I still found myself wallowing in stuff that never got worn or used, or enjoyed. I decided to go HAM on my wardrobe- shoes, bags, coats, belts; does anyone still wear belts? sunglasses, wrist watch; how many wrist watches does one need; 5, 6, 7? Either way, I was taking no prisoners. There was stuff for charity, stuff for family and friends, stuff, stuff and more stuff.
It took me five days to declutter, eight bags of clothes, ten coats, six leather jackets, I mean that white biker jacket I bought because my ex-boyfreind had a bike; I NEVER EVEN WENT ON THE BIKE!! Shoes, and don’t even get me started on the bags. My niece appreciated having my very first Gucci bag I bought when I was 19 over a decade ago! I found stuff I thought I’d lost, stuff I loved at the time of purchasing but sadly am too old or too far evolved in my style to enjoy. Things that didn’t fit, things I didn’t want to bother to fit into, things that looked so goddamn ridiculous I am convinced I was high on crack when I bought them. Juicy velour sweats; THREE JUICY VELOUR SWEATS; Never worn, still with tags, I must have known at the time of purchase that I would never wear them, but it was the height of Kitson, the era of the Simple Life so I blame Paris Hilton. Every trend, tried and tested lived in my wardrobe including those sixties psychedelic pants. I was done being the girl with too many clothes but who still never knew what to wear. I mean when was I ever going to wear my sparkly micro mini dress? I didn’t even wear it for the New Year’s Eve I bought it, many moons ago.
I found things forgotten that brought back memories; a picture my sister drew in secondary school, a christmas card from an old colleague whom I sadly lost touch with, but her message was so heartfelt, and my favourite ever card which I will never give to anyone because its so, so beautiful and so it hangs on my wall.
I draw my blinds on a crispy sunny morning and light touches everything, the view is airier, no clutter or cluster. I know what I have because I see what I have, and can decide on what to wear, when and where in half the time. Its about that life, about time not spent searching, trying things on, wondering whether my ass look big in this and that, of course it does I have a big ass; Sir Mix-a-Lot kinda big, and it’s about never having to sweat a bad liner or spending a half hour looking to perfect that one flick. One day I will get there but for now, its being at peace with the here and now.
Happy New Year.