Before we begin, you should know that I am not a makeup expert, not even a little bit. I buy mascaras and lip glosses a lot and I have way too many nail polishes, but other than that, nada. I’ve no idea the best brand of face powder to buy and the only concealer I know is Touche Eclat. I’ve only just discovered the power of red lipstick so you should take this post with a pinch of salt and eye roll.

That being said, I do know what too much make up is and lately, I’ve been seeing way too much makeup out and about. Girl! Your fake face is melting. If your face is two shades lighter than your neck, we have a situation. No, there is no need for dark eyes and red lips especially in the day time, its one or the other…at least I know that much. The red lip is busy enough nothing should be in competition with it. There is a limit to how much fake lashes you can have on; if you can put a comb through them, we have ourselves another situation, so leave it to the Disney princesses. Those diamante lashes MUST DIE!!! It was never even cool on Madonna.

The heat is at its peak which means you should take it down several notches, ideally, we’d prefer it if your face and body are not all monochromatic and your lipstick isn’t in competition with your eyes shadow and blusher, you are not a watercolour palette. Get to the nearest makeup counter in a department store and find the right shade for your skin tone.

Whilst we’re on the subject; applying make up in public…its a problem. Sorry, but it is. Can someone please let me know what the expiry date on nail art is? I think we’ve just about had enough.