Ah the real housewife in surbubia. She lives in leafy, lovely Kensington Gardens, in one of those candy coloured mansion blocks in the square, around private gardens. Her fashion showdown is at the school gates; even if its just the school run, you never know if Elle, yes McPherson, will be showing up in couture. She is impossibly fit as are her kids, their diet consist of all things brown and green. She is well informed on the best diet tips, idolises Gwyneth and anything she sanctions is gospel. Her children are her pride and joy, they attend the best kindergarten, primary schools, college will possibly be Eton and university the Ivy’s. By age three they are fluent in Mandarin, Spanish and French. She used to be a high flyer until she gave it all up to play mommy and now she judges any woman who puts career before family, with disdain. Because she pushed she feels superior to every other woman who didn’t and lords it over them like it is the second coming. She drives an SUV and has a country manor where the brood escape to every other weekend.

On the weekends she’s in London,  you’ll find her in Wholefoods with her gaggle of mummy friends and the topic of conversation; Russian lessons for 3 year olds because you know, everyone needs to learn to speak Russian!, Nannies, allergies and play-dates. Her Mother-In-Law is the bane of her life because she never thought her worthy enough for her precious son in the first instance. Tea of choice would be chamomile to calm those crazy nerves.